Friday, September 7, 2012

Cookoo For Cocoa Puffs Treats!

So you're generally getting an understanding on just what I do here. Given the theme of my reviews I don't think it's possible to elude any of you much further. Now that you got a vague perception of what exactly these reviews will be revolving around the majority of the time you can either tune out or watch me indulge my junk food obsession further. The choice is yours...

Wherever a cereal-bar mascot lures on the  impressionable innocence of the youth and their sensational appetites for cheap artificial sweets in the breakfast aisle, I will not be far off! And yes, that orange, long-beaked bastard will be more than happy to trick your taste-buds out like a Pimp My Ride episode. I obviously picked me up two boxes because I'm weak! Look at the NEW! letterhead in big jump-out captions! Look at that smug bird with his human-shaped hands out, inviting us in for what will clearly be our diet undoing! DAMN YOU, GENERAL MILLS. DAMN YOU!!!

Yeah, so back to the story. Two boxes sat in the cabinet as I gobbled my way through almost a years supply of crap foods in less than a month before setting my sights on the chocolate bad-boy. There was a brief, unsettling stare-down between me and that big-goofy mug on the box, but I couldn't blame him. He was in my pantry, therefore he'd won. I shamelessly opened the package in defeat and pulled the neatly wrapped rectangle from out of the box, examining its almost weightless feel and aesthetic design. Yeah, and as you'd guess, there it was. That bird. That damn, anthropomorphic vertebrate taunting me. "You have not got my soul yet, vermin!" I yelled in a comical, Adam West banter before I began to unraveled the plastic cover.

The Coco Puff cereal I use to know, fused into a rich, milk chocolate binding. Its top, drizzled in chocolate. Its bottom, submerged in a rigid chocolate fortress. The smell was delightful! The strong scent, immerses you in those nostalgic days of pouring your bowl with 3x the recommended amount of cereal and then lifting the bowl to your face as you gulp down the remaining chocolate-y milk-contents after the cereal is done.

Now, taking a bite. It's not bad at all. The smell was certainly validated of Cocoa Puffs cereal and you get a pleasant milk-chocolate taste. (NOTE: You ever open a box of Cocoa Puffs cereal, rip open the plastic package and that sealed in scent when that bag's first opened hits you like a ton a bricks? Yeah, every packaged treat is like that.) Kudos, General Mills. Awesome presentation, decent execution.

Overall? A nice triple chocolate treat, 100 calories for every 24g bar. Stronger in scent and taste to its cereal counterpart and mildly convenient for those on-the-go.... that wanna sabotage their diet quickly and painfully while telling themselves "It's only 100 calories. It's only 100 calories!". Don't expect this to fill you up though, because it won't! And exercise caution if you're giving this to your  kids. 1 too many of these and you'll be in a doctors office faster than that damn Cocoa Puffs bird can get a quick-witted word in!


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