WILDLICIOUS - Because WILD makes a WORLD of difference!

The pastry addicts at it again! Another pop-tart review to crack out because my endless supply has been running low lately and I have the gamut of Pop-Tart selections to NOM through. Here's WILDLICIOUS Frosted WILD! Strawberry Pop-Tarts. OH YEAH! THERE'S YELLING BEING INVOLVED HERE THAT MEANS IT MUST BE GOOD! Its exciting display of vibrant rainbow-like colors just screams this Pop-Tart's gonna be F#%#-ing EPIC!



But I must not get carried away. The Pop-tart has a lovely aesthetic design of pink red-ish hues and a red drizzle lining like an overview of a wacky-race. Unlike its pale-colored Frosted Strawberry counterpart. It's saying, "Yeah - you may got those sprinkles all over you buddy but what else, huh!? Look at me I got fricking green sprinkles AND I'm some concoction of pink and red baby, WOO!!! Other being a whole lot ...prettier, I dare say? - than the Frosted Strawberry it has a pleasant smell to it, too. That must be due to it being baked with real fruit, as Kellogg's proclaims.



So I pop it in the toaster, wait 3 minutes and grab my hot-to-the-touch toaster buddies and OFF I AM to my room quarters! I hoard over them like an evil gremlin ready to swoop, boy do they look good. I break them apart first - which I normally do - in a couple of equally-sized squares. The tempting Strawberry frosting staring back at me. I take my first bite and I'm immediately filled with the pleasant taste of Strawberry. But wait - this doesn't just taste like the normal Strawberry I'd get from the classic Frosted Strawberry stuff, there's something different. This strawberry... tastes amplified. Could it be? Could it really be that they managed to make the Frosted Strawberry Pop-Tart even better?




Surely I was dreaming. In all of half a second it took me to process these swirls of thought I was taking my next bite and it was confirmed - Kellogg's did it. The Sweet pleasant taste of Strawberry was not only familiar... but exciting! The palette of frosting and strawberry drizzle mixed with the strawberry frosting made it a Pop-tart I wouldn't forget.The pastry's crust is typical of Pop-tarts pastry's crusts. It was soft - somewhat hard and crunchy when toasted - and wasn't really the center of attention, as always. I was sad when I finished off the two pieces of Strawberry toast because I wanted more! Ah, the catch. These yummy bad-boys are great, but they just don't do a wallop on the waist-line. In other words, pop in another batch, fellas, you're pastry friends are gonna need company.



Overall I'd say The WILDLICIOUS Frosted WILD! Strawberry Pop-Tarts are like the Frosted Strawberry Pop-Tarts, on steroids. If there's one way to out-do a classic, you make it wild. It just makes sense. But remember, if you're a man - like myself - you're gonna have to at-least pop in more than 2 of them. Less than that won't cut it. Believe me..






8/10

Cookoo For Cocoa Puffs Treats!

So you're generally getting an understanding on just what I do here. Given the theme of my reviews I don't think it's possible to elude any of you much further. Now that you got a vague perception of what exactly these reviews will be revolving around the majority of the time you can either tune out or watch me indulge my junk food obsession further. The choice is yours...





Wherever a cereal-bar mascot lures on the  impressionable innocence of the youth and their sensational appetites for cheap artificial sweets in the breakfast aisle, I will not be far off! And yes, that orange, long-beaked bastard will be more than happy to trick your taste-buds out like a Pimp My Ride episode. I obviously picked me up two boxes because I'm weak! Look at the NEW! letterhead in big jump-out captions! Look at that smug bird with his human-shaped hands out, inviting us in for what will clearly be our diet undoing! DAMN YOU, GENERAL MILLS. DAMN YOU!!!




Yeah, so back to the story. Two boxes sat in the cabinet as I gobbled my way through almost a years supply of crap foods in less than a month before setting my sights on the chocolate bad-boy. There was a brief, unsettling stare-down between me and that big-goofy mug on the box, but I couldn't blame him. He was in my pantry, therefore he'd won. I shamelessly opened the package in defeat and pulled the neatly wrapped rectangle from out of the box, examining its almost weightless feel and aesthetic design. Yeah, and as you'd guess, there it was. That bird. That damn, anthropomorphic vertebrate taunting me. "You have not got my soul yet, vermin!" I yelled in a comical, Adam West banter before I began to unraveled the plastic cover.



The Coco Puff cereal I use to know, fused into a rich, milk chocolate binding. Its top, drizzled in chocolate. Its bottom, submerged in a rigid chocolate fortress. The smell was delightful! The strong scent, immerses you in those nostalgic days of pouring your bowl with 3x the recommended amount of cereal and then lifting the bowl to your face as you gulp down the remaining chocolate-y milk-contents after the cereal is done.



Now, taking a bite. It's not bad at all. The smell was certainly validated of Cocoa Puffs cereal and you get a pleasant milk-chocolate taste. (NOTE: You ever open a box of Cocoa Puffs cereal, rip open the plastic package and that sealed in scent when that bag's first opened hits you like a ton a bricks? Yeah, every packaged treat is like that.) Kudos, General Mills. Awesome presentation, decent execution.



Overall? A nice triple chocolate treat, 100 calories for every 24g bar. Stronger in scent and taste to its cereal counterpart and mildly convenient for those on-the-go.... that wanna sabotage their diet quickly and painfully while telling themselves "It's only 100 calories. It's only 100 calories!". Don't expect this to fill you up though, because it won't! And exercise caution if you're giving this to your  kids. 1 too many of these and you'll be in a doctors office faster than that damn Cocoa Puffs bird can get a quick-witted word in!





6.5/10

A dentist's worst nightmare: Cinnamon Toast Crunch Treats

On a trip to Avon Park, Florida a couple weeks back I came across a plethora of cereal bar treats. They had: Coco Puffs Treats (picked it up), Lucky Charms Treats (picked it up), Honey Nut Cheerios Cereal Bars (picked it up), Fruity Pebbles Treats (picked it up) and a bunch more that I don't remember and probably picked up. I'm here 3 weeks later to tell you that I ate off almost 2/3rds of the cereal bars I bought and I'm here to review one of the 4... or 5... or whatever, plenty.

If you're no stranger to the these sugar-laden cinnamon-battered cereal squares you've either eaten enough of them for your dentist to want to yank your head off and mount it on his wall like a prized trophy or you're a parent of a child who's eaten enough of them to keep your local dentist office in business. Either way, you've come across them.

As soon I ripped open the wrapper I got a whiff of its strong cinnamon presence. Almost overwhelming. I took a bite and the cinnamon presence was so strong it bombarded into my taste-buds headquarters like an F.D.A drug bust and started kicking my taste-buds ass!

The cinnamon pretty much dominates most of the other aspects of the treat. The other notable presence would be the sugary flavor, which does feel like a tad much, but I'm a fan of junk-food so it was tolerable. However, the overtly sugar-cinnamon-y taste may be overbearing for those not big on foods that will rot their teeth to its raw nerve.


These treats come at 24(g) per bar. They're not as messy as the cereal version where you're getting the sugar and cinnamon powder all over your fingers, and the nice-crunchy texture compliments the flavor well. Overall, I was SLIGHTLY disappointed that the cinnamon presence was so strong (almost nauseating),  not really allowing any of the other flavors to flourish, but its still satisfying enough to NOM NOM NOM through each bar like the Cookie Monster during his lunch period. Pick these up if you're fan of the Cereal... and get ready for the overinflated dentist bills you'll likely incur. ;)



Rating: 6/10