Tuesday, August 21, 2012

Pop-Tarts: Bakery Style.

Look at the box! LOOK AT IT! If there was EVER a box trying to market itself to children with its colorful sprinkles, innocent white frosting and in your face letterbox captions, this would be it! Like a magnetic force your eyes are drawn to it immediately! You may wanna shield your children's eyes as you dart through the pastry aisle, averting row after row of sugary treats. A precaution best suited for preventing a supermarket freakout of epic proportions! On the docket? the fairly new Pop-Tarts creation, Frosted Confetti Cupcake. Forget a cartoon mascot shoveling its weak gimmick down your yappers, Kellogg's does that job through eye-popping Pop-Tart visuals!

I've never had Confetti Cupcake before. Or maybe I have. My short term memory sucks. But be warned! The minute you open the package you'll be hit with such a strong, buttery scent you'll nearly convulse! Yeah, it's that nauseating! As soon as I undressed this Pop-Tart's wrapper to expose the polka-dotted pastry underneath, the smell of butter invaded my senses. Yes - all five of them! And guess what? they weren't even toasted yet.

Ahh, I'll never be whole again!

So yeah, 3 minutes later my toaster yelps and that insufferable smell you get once you open the wrapper? multiply it by  3.  The vanilla frosting has a slightly tougher exterior than you'd come to expect from an ordinary Pop-Tart and the colorful sprinkles become a nuisance, falling off all over the place. Down the hatch! Bleh. Mediocrity. Of course, it's a Pop-Tart.

The frosting has that really cheap synthetic taste of Vanilla, ya know? Like the bargain brand pre-baked Cupcakes you buy in those plastic cases for like 4.99$ at your local grocers. And gives the pastry a tough texture. With the overpowering aroma of butter, though  it's hard to get a sense for that vanilla flavor, it pales in comparison. I mean, you know it's there - but that may just be my visual perception sending signals to my brain like "Hey you! Yeah, you - you're eating a vanilla-flavored Pop-Tart! Now leave me alone!".

Down the hatch!

Overall, not bad. I've had better Pop-Tarts and I'd say easily out of all them this would be somewhere on my bottom ten list. As aesthetically pleasing as it may be, the pastry itself is not that exciting. My guess is all the effort was put into making the box colorful enough to distract you from the monotony the lays dormant inside of the package. Curse you, Kellogg's! .....*NOM* *NOM* *NOM*


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